We all know them, but we know them by different names. Some call them attention seekers, others call them attention hounds, while others colourfully refer to them as attention whores.
They’re the women (especially, anyway, but there are some guys that fit the bill, too) who simply have to have everyone’s focus on them, no matter where they are. And nowhere is this more out of line than at the most sacrosanct event in another woman’s life — her wedding.
Now, before we get into how not to dress and act at a wedding, which is to say, how to put your attention whoring ways aside for at least one afternoon, it has to be stated that like every rule, there are exceptions. But as you read about the exceptions, don’t think that you’re one of them!
In September 2014, while singer Beyoncé and her husband Jay-Z were on vacation in Italy, they accidentally crashed a wedding. Beyoncé being Beyoncé, and wearing a bikini at that, of course stole the attention from the bride. This followed only two months on the heels of World’s Number One female tennis player Serena Williams crashing a wedding in a leopard-print bathing suit. Now, they could have avoided the weddings, or at least quickly excused themselves when they saw what they had interrupted, but being the attention getters that they are (sorry, but I’m not going to call Serena or Beyoncé a hound or a whore), they stopped for photo ops. Granted, it’s Beyoncé and Serena, so of course the brides didn’t mind. In fact, judging from their smiles in the pictures, I’d say the presence of these uber-celebs probably made the day even more special for them.
But again, you aren’t Beyoncé or Serena. For you, there are clear rules of what not to wear and what not to do when you attend a wedding.
The other day a friend of mine showed me pictures from her aunt’s wedding. In one of the pictures, there was the bride and her bridal party, yet all I could ask myself was, where is the bride? I knew she was in there somewhere, but there was nothing distinctive about her dress from those of her bridesmaids to allow me to easily pick her out. Fortunately, she was wearing a veil and tiara, so I did figure it out, but the point is, it shouldn’t be that hard. Again, this is HER day, not anyone else’s. All eyes should be on her. And yes, at the risk of sounding sexist, it is about her and the attention should be on her...sorry, Mr. Groom.
Look, we all love weddings and want to look our best at such events. However, no matter how excited we are, we should keep in mind that it’s the bride’s day, not ours, not in any small way. So on with the rules.
Never wear a white dress to a wedding.
At most weddings, the bride is going to be in white. You know this. So if we’re trying to let her stand out among the crowd, don’t wear a white dress, whether it’s a short dress or a gown, unless the bride specifically asks you to. There should only be one person in white at the ceremony, and that person should obviously be the bride. And for those brides out there that are planning their big day, you can help your own cause by not putting your bridesmaids in white. Although you might love the colour, it’s going to wash out the impact of that wedding gown that you spent so much time and money choosing. It’s your day. Bask in the attention and admiration.
Keep your dress modest.
If you are “heavily endowed on top,” that is, if you have big boobs, don’t wear a dress that shows too much cleavage. Never wear a short dress that shows too much leg, either. And also, try to avoid skimpy or formfitting dresses; you may have a great body, but today is not the day to fish for compliments about it. Repeat after me: IT’S THE BRIDE’S DAY. Let the attention and talk be on her.
With that in mind, don’t overly dress, in general. Though you shouldn’t look too casual for the occasion (like wearing a pair of jeans), don’t overdress, either, and outshine the person whose name is on every invitation, not just yours.
Don’t do anything that fixes attention on you during picture time.
There are going to be lots of pictures taken; that’s a given. Don’t do anything to make yourself the center of attention in the photograph. First and foremost, the bride goes in the middle, not you (ahem, ahem, Serena). Second, no matter how great of friends you are with the bride or how much fun everyone is having, resist the urge to make a funny face, unless everyone else in the picture including the bride is.
Don’t move to the dance floor if you’re not asked to.
When the time comes for the couple to share the first dance, I don’t care that the pastor turned the simple wedding ceremony into a two-hour affair of hallelujahs and praise the Lords, all the while you were itching to get your jiggy on. Wait for guests to be invited to the dance floor. Until that time arrives, please allow the couple to enjoy their first dance and all the attention being focused squarely on them.
Don’t cause any drama.
Don’t take too much alcohol! The fact that there may be plenty to drink and it’s free doesn’t mean you should drink enough to get drunk. You may think that you’re the life of the party and everyone loves you when you’re drunk, but sadly, you’re mistaken. And even though you may run into friends and “less-than-friends” that you haven’t seen in years, don’t use the occasion to say the things you’ve been holding onto until you saw them again. This isn’t that occasion.
The bottom line here is that you want to celebrate with the bride, as you should, that’s why you were invited. But that doesn’t mean you should overdress or underdress or do anything that steals attention from her. Doing everything you can to make her day as special as she dreamed about her whole life is perhaps the best gift you can give her.
No comments:
Post a Comment